Guest Post 1: Great Moments in Freedom

In the absence of Dr. Bane, currently touring the Great West, I have the fortunate opportunity to guest blog. I am honored. For the next week, pardon the capitalization and punctuation.

But I digress. On the heels of the country's 229th birthday, I thought I would share an account of my Independence day. I rolled out of bed around 10 AM, scratched myself, and went to the dog park at Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis. Neither my future wife nor I have a dog, but my S.O. (significant other) used to live with a girl who had a dog, and occasionally we still like to see the dog. I dressed in my red, white, and blue swim trunks, a similarly colored t-shirt, and my freedom visor. I was the only person at the park in celebratory colors. Clearly the liberal moonbats of Minneapolis hate America. After about 2 hours at the dog park, I took the S.O. home and was on my way to the house of Bane when I was waved down at an intersection. The man who stopped me was clearly of middle-eastern ethnicity, but I stopped anyway. He asked if I could jump start his car. I said I didn't have cables, which was a lie. He had cables, so I felt obligated to help because the tone of my first response implied that I would help if I did have cables. In a thick Syrian (as I learned later) accent he said his car was dead, 3 houses down, in the alley, behind the house. Hmmmm. To many men, this might cause alarm. But to me, dressed as I was, I sent a clear message- Don't fuck with freedom. Anyway, I gave him a jump, we made small talk, and he was very grateful. He wanted to reward me for my kind deed, and offered me some crafts of his trade, 4 lighters and an ashtray. (The kind Syrian man works in a tobacco shop). The lighters were quite normal, 3 bics and one novelty lighter that looks like a stack of 5 poker chips. The ashtray is quite a different story. The tricolored tray boasts a marijuana leaf in the middle, with the word "LEGALIZE" curved underneath the leaf.

The message was clear. This was a sign on Independence Day, an Independence Omen. What says 'I love freedom' more than an ashtray proclaiming the futility of the war on drugs, calling for the legalization of drugs so that our prisons won't be filled with young men and women who committed victimless crimes, crying out for the right to own yourself. Thank you kind Syrian, for your message of freedom.

klink