Friday, November 17, 2006

Summary

Time does not respond to my entreaties, so there is no time for details.

Mason Jennings concert
Herkimer - Red Fly Marzen
Good times with Ziyad & Jenny, Jose, and neighbors
My first all-grain brew
Bought a wine kit that makes 30 x 750ml
Borat
Chocolate and wine tasting at International Market Square with the Klinkers
Beer extravaganza at John & Jo's at 11:11 on 11/11

List of Beers:
Ichabod Pumpkin Ale
Archadia IPA
Stella Artois
Big Sky Crystal Ale
Anchor Steam Liberty Ale
Pyramid Thunderhead IPA
James Page Burly Brown Ale
Summit Great Northern Porter
Bell's Stout? The head was brown!
I'm forgetting one.

In other news Paul, Tim, and I have formed a denomination that meets every Sunday morning.

Marye and I leave for Nebraska after work today. We will stay the night with the Ritz house in Ames, progress to the Living History Farm race, continue to Omaha, and finish our journey in Hastings, Nebraska, where we will consume mass quantities of food.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Halloween with Conan O'Brien

I watched Conan on October 31. The sound was a rerun of a previous show but the people were replaced with skeleton marionettes. Brilliant.

In the year two thousand...

In an effort to eliminate the middleman, White Castle will start grinding up meat and spraying it directly onto the inside of toilets.

Cut Chemist

On Wednesday night 89.3 The Current played 30 minutes of uninterrupted fresh beats from guest DJ Cut Chemist, who has a new CD called The Audience's Listening.

Butt Sex

The Rev. Ted Haggard, the former president of the National Association of Evangelicals and one of the nation’s most influential Christian leaders, has conceded that some of the accusations that led him to resign are true, a church official said today.

What are the allegations?

A former male prostitute in Denver said in television and radio interviews that he had had a three-year sexual relationship with Mr. Haggard.

Mr. Haggard, who is married and has five children, had initially denied the accusation, saying in a television interview: “I am steady with my wife. I’m faithful to my wife.”

He also said he had never met the man making the accusation.

The evangelical association states on its Web site that homosexual sex is condemned by Scripture, and Mr. Haggard has advocated passage of an amendment to the United States Constitution to ban same-sex marriage.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Macalester Is Wonderful

Friday evening we attended the Macalester men's football match versus the Hamline Pipers. It was the first time I had seen the new artificial turf. That's right, no more grass.

Final Score
Macalester 3 - Hamline 2

"The mighty hoof of Dark Goat descended from the skies and answered our prayers. And there was much rejoicing." --Andrew "Grimace" Virden ('96), Leader of Mac Soccer Superfan Society

Grimace was at the match, inspiring future generations of superfans.

I heard few new cheers. Here are two of them:

Macalester's the besticle.
Punch them in the testicle.

Yo baby, yo baby, yo baby, yo
you gots to be a Scot or you gots to go

Here are some other good ones:

give me an S
S
give me an ampersand
ampersand
give me an M
M
what's that spell
domination

who ate all the pie
that fat bastard, that fat bastard, he ate all the pie

And of course the classic:

drink blood
smoke crack
worship satan
go mac

The fans count down to 4:20 on the scoreboard clock, which then shows graphics of balloons and streamers.

Notables in attendence...

Mr. Furious and Mrs. Happy
Tim
Paul
Derek and Kat
Ian Ritz (who imposed on the silent cheer by talking informatively about the transportation amendment)

After the game, we progressed to the Groveland Tap, where we enjoyed Summit Winter Ales. After leaving the bar, I was tempted to look in the dumpster at SuperAmerica. I didn't see any donuts but I did see a few cookies. I ripped open the garbage bag and procured an M&M cookie. Somewhere along the thought process, I decided the cookie was a frisbee and I threw it at Tim. I didn't intend to strike him directly below his left eye; however, several winter ales apparently do not tolerate inaccuracy. Sorry Tim. Hopefully you can remove the eyepatch soon. Kids, don't operate heavy machinery or throw cookies if you are under the influence of a few beers.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Macalester's the Besticle

Preview.

Last week I attended the North American Hazardous Materials Management Association (NAHMMA) conference. On Friday night we watched the Scotsmen on the pitch against the Hamline Pipers. Afterwards, we visited the Groveland Tap. On Saturday we cheered on the Scots cross country teams at the MIAC championships. Then we went to the Pavlish pad where we had fun fun fun times. On Sunday we played frisbee golf at Acorn.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Beer and Kung-Fu

Here's a look at some of the beers I've drank recently.

Days ago villager Tim Pavlish, Jose, Marye, and I went to the Muddy Pig to enjoy their selection of beer.

-Rush River Lost Arrow Porter
-Young's Double Chocolate Stout (a sip of Jose's beer)
-HeBrew Genesis 10:10 (10 malts, 10 hops, craziness)
-Summit Oktoberfest

Yesterday, coworker John, Marye, and I went to Barley John's Brew Pub.

First Beer
-Dark Knight Returns (stored in a second usage bourbon barrel - yeah baby)

Sampler Quaffed While Ruminating an Angus Beef Burger
-Little Barley Bitter
-Stockyard IPA
-Oktoberfest
-Wild Brunette
-Old Eight Porter

This is good beer. Wow.

Then we joined Liz and Paul at the Walker Art Center where we watched the kung-fu movie My Young Auntie for free. Yes.

Ames Pilgrammage

On October 7 the Klinkers and the Knudsons traveled south to Ames, Iowa, for the Huskers-Cyclones football game at 7pm. It was a beautiful day for football: the high temperature reached eighty, the landscape was variegated and dry, harvest was nigh and so was a Big Red victory.

We checked into the hotel, joining the other Husker faithful who lit up the no vacancy signs in Ames and the surrounding communities. After applying our Huskers tattoos, we fueled up at La Fuente Mexican Restaurant. I walked away a bigger man.

This year was much different than years past:
-there were females present in our group
-conversation was not characterized by coarse indecent humor
-we did not consume copious amounts of beer and spirits
-I did not showcase my moves on the dance floor
-we did not initiate any fights (you have a nice face)
-Klinker did not poke a police officer in the belly
-we were not boisterous and disorderly
-we were not in danger of fighting several frat boys
-there was no homoerotic brinkmanship
-we were not hostile to people who hate freedom
-we did not unwittingly hitch a ride with drunken racists
-we were not extremely hungover

However, I did manage to publicly urinate and Klinker almost fought with the Huskers #1 Fan.

We parked the car and walked through the haze of a massive tailgate party to Jack Trice Stadium. RVs and old school buses dominated the scene. Many ISU fans were wearing golden shirts that said: "The Golden Rule: Beat Nebraska." Righteous, drunk, midwestern college girls walked around in jean skirts so short their piety showed when they bent over. Drunk, overweight fans attempted to take a short cut to the stadium by jumping over a small creek. Shoes were lost.

The 7pm game time led to superb attendance: 55,000+ spilling from the stands onto the grassy hillsides where we stood with many Big Red fans. Several fanatics decided face paint was not enough, the whole body must be painted... link a corn cob. Shuck the Cyclones. The 7pm game time also means people have had the chance to drink for several hours. Some drink more than others. One of those people was standing behind Klinker. The man was sloppy. Klinker asked him if he was okay, did he need a bucket. The man took umbrage. "What did you say! I'm feeling great. Don't you know who I am? I'm Nebraska's #1 fan. I love the Huskers. You don't know me." I took a picture of Nebraska's #1 Fan shortly after this incident.

He remained like this from early in the first quarter until the end of the game, sleeping it off on the hillside. This man will be in more pictures than he will ever know. People were laying down next to him, mocking his state of drunkeness. One guy even spooned with him. Nice. We also saw a fight by the port-a-pots. Apparently there was disagreement about who had to piss worse. Differences were reconciled and those bitches hugged it out.




Final score: Huskers 28 - Cyclones 14. The game was tense, a good victory. We celebrated briefly by eating a gyro and drinking a couple beers.

And now for the anticlimax...
The next morning we ate at the continental breakfast offered by the hotel. I saw an eight-year-old kid come back to his table with at least a dozen sausage links. That really made me laugh.

So there you have it, a vignette of our pilgrammage.















Until fall 2008.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

New Web Site

I have great difficulty posting with regularity. The reason is simple: work is a little too busy and at home I become immersed in other pursuits. One of those pursuits involved the creation of a website: www.maryeandben.com. The site includes a photo gallery and a blog.

63 Mac Update

I talked to Kofi the other day.

Here's the word:

As you may have known, Kofi was contemplating a internal job offer in Toronto. But the Big Dirty will be staying in Chicago and switching from the Kellogg's account to the Coca-Cola account. In addition to the work at Leo Burnett, Kofi is taking two night classes a week at Northwestern University.

Friday, October 06, 2006

TCM Narrative

Kevin was up first. I joined him when the alarm woke me at 6am. I called Tim to make sure he was awake - buddy system. Tim and Paul met at our house shortly before 7am, the designated departure time. Marye drove us to the Metrodome, where the search for a shitter with a short line commenced. Paul and I were lucky enough to have closed our major business deals at home earlier. However, Kevin and Tim were still haggling for closure, which eventually came in the women's bathroom.

Then we successfully entered into the Wave 1 chute. Tim and I were not qualified to start in Wave 1 because we did not have a recent qualifying marathon or half-marathon time. So, I stole Kevin's number and made two color copies at Kinko's. Welcome to Wave 1.

Kevin was aiming for 2:50 and the remaining three of us were hoping for 2:59:59, which is 6:52 per mile pace. Kevin hammered out a good run, steady and then strong at the end. We (Tim, Paul, and I) crossed the first mile marker when my watch read 7:07, at which point Tim freaked out like a spooked gazelle because we were behind our desired 6:52 pace. That explains the 6:18 second mile. Thanksfully we hit 6:52 on the nuts for mile three. After that, we cruised and enjoyed the spectators. We (Tim and I) eased into a faster pace after rounding Nokomis and put together a string of quicker miles. At mile 20 Tim told me that he was going to relax the pace in anticipation of the approaching climb. I decided to continue the current pace because I was afraid my body would react to the slowed pace by voting for additional slowing of the pace, and so on. Of course, quadriceps fatigue made its presence known on Summit. I noticed that my left and right quads do not fatigue in a similar manner; because of my running form, there is asymmetrical fatigue, which amused me for a few minutes. When you are traveling at the speed of fatigue, time and distance dilate. Summit is a long stretch. As I ran by the cathedral I saw motivation ahead: Kurt Goetzke. Seriously. What a great ending. The Mac Alumni Team gathered in the finish area, exchanging congratulations. Tim was a hurting unit. Kevin was enjoying the final moments before his intestines turned into bowels of evil, prostrating him for the remainder of the day. The rest of us sat and dined.

Will any of us ever run another marathon? Yes. We plan on running with Jude in 2009.

The week following the marathon is known as fat week, and thusfar it has been a pleasure.

Feast/Feest

Here is a list of things I remember ingurgitating after the big run:

bananas
yogurt
granola bar
many pancakes
2 x (english muffin + cheddar cheese + sausage patty + egg)
sausage links
fruit salad
donuts and pastries
bean dip and chips
3 beers
1 coke
rootbeer float
pizza

My Splits

to the starting line 15.28
01 7:07.57
02 6:18.59
03 6:52.00
04 6:32.16
05 6:44.75
06 6:44.83
07 6:50.91
08 6:49.01
09 6:38.67
10 6:45.13
11 6:40.23
12 6:41.49
13 6:37.73
14 6:42.50
15 6:36.76
16 6:31.86
17 6:31.13
18 6:29.98
19 6:26.76
20 6:30.24
21 6:14.89
22 6:30.97
23 6:33.07
24 6:15.14
25 6:27.78
26 6:23.54
.2 1:21.88
finish 2:53:14

Marathon Splits for Splits People

Monday, October 02, 2006

TCM Times

Mac Alumni
Kevin 2:48:36
Ben 2:53:00
Tim 2:55:48
Paul 3:01:53

I think everyone was pleased with the effort and results.
I will provide in-depth analysis later.

Nederlands

Marye and I were in the Netherlands September 15-25.
I will be posting details about our trip.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Supply Chain

At around 9am on September 7 I ordered the three volume set of "The Feynman Lectures on Physics" from Amazon. My order was immediately confirmed by email and a few hours later I received another email stating that my order had been shipped.

This is what I saw when I tracked my order:

Date: Time: Location and Event Details
Sep 11, 2006 10:41:00 AM US Delivered
Sep 11, 2006 03:02:00 AM MINNEAPOLIS MN US Out for delivery
Sep 09, 2006 01:39:00 AM MINNEAPOLIS MN US Arrival Scan
Sep 09, 2006 12:59:00 AM EAGAN MN US Departure Scan
Sep 08, 2006 11:08:00 PM EAGAN MN US Arrival Scan
Sep 08, 2006 02:43:00 PM ADDISON IL US Departure Scan
Sep 08, 2006 01:26:00 PM ADDISON IL US Arrival Scan
Sep 08, 2006 01:25:00 PM ADDISON IL US Arrival Scan
Sep 08, 2006 09:56:00 AM INDIANAPOLIS IN US Departure Scan
Sep 08, 2006 08:22:00 AM INDIANAPOLIS IN US Arrival Scan
Sep 08, 2006 04:07:00 AM LEXINGTON KY US Departure Scan
Sep 07, 2006 06:13:00 PM LEXINGTON KY US Shipment picked up from seller's facility
Sep 07, 2006 05:21:20 PM US Carrier notified to pick up package

Interstate commerce.
Capitalism.
Amazing.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Irrigation

Financing water projects
Pay dirt
Aug 31st 2006
From The Economist print edition

Buckets, not big irrigation systems, can prevent the world running dry

"It takes roughly 3,000 litres to grow enough food for one person for one day, or about one litre for each calorie."

"A recent study of vegetable farmers in Ghana, for example, found that those irrigating their fields with wastewater carried by buckets earned a 230% return on their investment, versus 30% for big state-sponsored schemes."

I think the article was referring to this study:

Irrigated Urban Vegetable Production in Ghana
Characteristics, Benefits, and Risks

More than 200,000 urban dwellers eat exotic vegetables daily on Accra's streets and in canteens and restaurants. Most of the perishable vegetables are produced on open spaces in the cities or its fringes due to insufficient cold transport and storage. This activity is highly profitable and can lift vulnerable groups out of poverty. It can also contribute to flood control, land reclamation and city greening. However, poor farmers have increasing problems finding in and around the cities unpolluted water sources for irrigation. This book gives a comprehensive overview of urban and peri-urban vegetable farming in Ghana's major cities with a special focus on 'wastewater' use. It ends with recommendations on how in a low- income country like Ghana health risks for consumers could be effectively reduced, while simultaneously supporting the important contribution of open-space urban and peri-urban agriculture.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Sexually Suggestive Cheerleading Performances

Read this bill that passed the Texas Congress in 2005.

H.B. No. 1476

A BILL TO BE ENTITLED

AN ACT

relating to regulation of certain sexually suggestive performances
at public school events.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:

SECTION 1. Subchapter D, Chapter 33, Education Code, is
amended by adding Section 33.088 to read as follows:

Sec. 33.088. CERTAIN SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE PERFORMANCES
PROHIBITED. (a) A school dance team, drill team, cheerleading[0]
team, or any other performance group may not perform in a manner
that is overtly sexually suggestive at an athletic or other
extracurricular event or competition sponsored or approved by a
school district or campus.

(b) The commissioner may submit to a school district a
written request that the district review performances by a
performance group described by Subsection (a) to determine if the
performances are overtly sexually suggestive.

(c) If the school district determines that a performance
group described by Subsection (a) has performed in an overtly
sexually suggestive manner, the district shall take appropriate
action against the performance group and the group's sponsor, as
determined by the district.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

TCM Training

Twin Cities Marathon will be run on Sunday October 1. I ran my 100% mileage week last week. 67 miles. The next four weeks will be 70, 70, 60, and 50% of max, which I have determined to be 70 miles for ease of multiplication. Paul, Tim, and I completed a 20-mile run on Sunday. Tonight at 6:30 we will commence the following workout: (35 minutes @ tempo, 15 minutes easy) x 2. Fat $$$ in the bank. After such a run, it is customary for me to grab my half-liter nalgene of water and a Coke from the refrigerator. SHS.