LogIn, Inc.

On August 27, 2001 I began work at my first real job for LogIn, Inc., a company which has provided information to local governments since 1981. IACP Net was created in 1991 as a spinoff of LOGIN when LOGIN partnered with the International Association of Chiefs of Police. IACP Net generates most of LOGIN's revenue and is now an online research tool for almost two thousand law enforcement agencies. Early in 2001 LOGIN debuted Planapolis, WorksTogether, Parks Pavilion, and HealtheCommunity, websites for municipal planners, public works, parks and recreation, and health organizations, respectively. Each website has a similar design, but obviously the information differs by product. I will walk you through the most successful product, IACP Net.

There are three main sections on the site: databases, networking, and current affairs.

The databases section includes:

Core Database
The Core Database contains documents of innovations, programs, policies, solutions, and ordinances pertaining to law enforcement. FAST Search facilitates access to commonly requested searches.

Select Site
This portal filters the Internet for law enforcement websites and allows you to perform a search of these selected sites through keyword searching.

LEPAS
Law Enforcement Products and Services allows you to view specifications, testimonials, pricing, manufacturer contacts as well as vendor/distributor information for police products and services.

Policies
The Policies Database contains standard operating procedures from policy manuals. This database is extremely popular.

LEMAS
Law Enforcement Management and Administrative Statistics contains reports and department profiles that can be used as a comparative tool in all areas of law enforcement management and administration.

Archive
The Archive Database houses older documents that were entered prior to 1996.

The networking section includes:

Quest-Response
The Quest-Response Service is where members exchange information with other members. If you have a problem or issue, and you would like feedback from your peers, post it as a Quest. Members showcase innovations and help others by responding to Quests. This is an extremely popular feature of the website.

Roundtable
Roundtables provide a unique forum for discussing issues and hot topics in law enforcement. Members use Roundtables to learn what others are thinking and to share opinions.

Survey
Periodically, IACP Net posts survey questions requesting feedback. Members participate by answering the survey, then see live survey results.

User Directory
The user directory provides a white pages of all IACP Net members. Telephone numbers and e-mail address are listed if supplied by the member.

Links
IACP Net reviews web sites for content and lists valuable information sites in the Links service.

The current affairs section includes:

News
Members stay informed on the latest news and announcements from IACP, federal agencies and sources around the country.

Publications
Publications include articles and issues from various different magazines: The Police Chief, Sheriff, Community Links or the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin, etc.

Funding
Funding is updated regularly and provides sources of grants and funding available to law enforcement agencies. Sources of grant solicitations include mostly federal grants and private. The information editor reads the lengthy, tiresome grant announcement and summarizes the important information: program description, funding amount, eligibility, deadline, contact information.

Briefing Papers
Find white papers and reports on hot topics and current issues. New briefing papers are added monthly.

Legislation
This section lists relevant legislative bills and tracks the progress of the bills through Congress.

Traffic Tech Notes
Traffic Tech Notes is a publication of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA).

Calendar
Members stay current on training, conferences and other events by reviewing calendar items.

at this point you might be wondering what my job was. my job title was information editor. i was responsible for posting all the content on our websites. i would scour the internet for germane information. of course, many times information was copyrighted and i had to call and request permission to reproduce. i would also receive information from our members. i also had ongoing partnerships with various organizations and they would mail hard or electronic copies of information not found online. basically, i got information from everywhere. in an age when excess information creates difficulty in locating exact information, LOGIN provides ease of access through consolidation and focused searching. ready to fax in your service order.

before i posted information on the site, i had to edit it to a specified format. i would scan printed documents and optical character recognition software would convert the document to electronic text. editing takes a surprising amount of time.

then i would index the document; that is, i would read the document and record keywords from the document with the purpose of representing document content and ensuring the search engine would recall the document if our customer's search matched the keywords associated with the document. it's different than google. google searches the actual text of web pages. when a customer performs a search on LOGIN, the search references only the list of keywords i provided in each document and displays a list of documents with the specified keywords.

when i added a document to the website, i filled in a number of fields and then clicked submit. do i know a lot about computers. no. if i'm having a conversation with a stranger and heshe asked me about my job but didn't really care. yes, i'm a computer genius.

now you know what i did for the past three years and five months of my life from eight to five monday through friday forty seven weeks of the year.

the law of deminishing resolve

tomorrow is my last day at work. tomorrow i post about my job.

jose, little by little i will reveal the conversations we had.

jose was talking about his creative desire to be at the vanguard of novel research. he talked about telomeres.

"Inside the nucleus of virtually all of our cells are chromosomes, 46 in all. At the tips of these chromosomes are telomeres, repeating sequences of genetic material that shorten each time a cell divides. Cell division is important because many cells in our body (e.g., those that line our digestive tract) must be replaced over time. When a cell's telomeres reach a critically short length, however, that cell can no longer replicate. Its structure and function begin to fail as it enters this state of growth arrest, called replicative senescence. Some have likened the process of telomere shortening to a genetic biological clock that winds down over time. Today, researchers continue to probe the telomeric "timepiece," hoping to better understand the aging process and fight diseases, particularly cancer."

jude is pursuing a phd in psychology at the university of southern mississippi in hattiesburg, mississippi. jude plans to research the nature of religiosity among individuals/groups. why are people religious.

intrinsic - religion as an end
extrinsic - religion as a means
quest - religion as a search

i've always had a tough time wrapping my mind around the meaning/expression of intrinsic.

psychology of religion

einar is pursuing a degree at the university of california at irvine. he has a web site about his research interests. also, i looked up snekker and it appears to be a cabinetmaker, carpenter, or builder. what.

article about wal-mart
down and out in discount america

wyoming's two-edged welfare experiment

maureen dowd writes about men who are afraid of powerful women. i am married to an intelligent, beautiful, powerful woman. it doesn't bother me. but that's probably because i'm ridiculously masculine.

here are some sites that i look at every day

great source of planning news: planetizen

smart communities network: creating energy smart communities

juveniles in corrections

check out this pdf
juveniles in corrections
1999 statistics on juveniles in custody
good stats by state

highlights:

minority youth accounted for 7 in 10 juveniles held in custody for a violent offense in 1999.

black youth accounted for 55% of juveniles held for robbery and 65% of those held for drug trafficking.

minority youth accounted for 34% of the u.s. juvenile population and 62% of juveniles in custody.

for every 100,000 black juveniles living in the u.s., 1,004 were in a residential placement facility on october 27, 1999; the rate was 485 for hispanics and 212 for whites.

custody rate per 100,000 of black juvenile population
top five:
south dakota (big winner)
wyoming
connecticut
wisconsin
iowa

custody rate per 100,000 of hispanic juvenile population
top five:
mississippi (winner by a multiple of three)
connecticut
michigan
south dakota
pennsylvania

greek mythology and economist articles

last weekend jose and i were talking about prometheus. greek mythology is awesome. i had never heard of the greeks or of mythology until i left nebraska for macalester. inspired by jose, i've been reading a little about greek mythology.

here’s my summary on prometheus:

prometheus gave many gifts to humanity. most importantly, he stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. the gift of fire helped man to flourish, as it was the impetus for many other discoveries. zeus was furious (anger management problems) and chained prometheus to a mountain high in the caucuses. each day an eagle came and tore at prometheus and tore until the liver of prometheus was torn out. prometheus, a titan, would heal over night and the next day the eagle came back to exact the same painful, interminable punishment. in addition, to reverse the benefit to mankind of all the gifts bequeathed by prometheus, zeus commissioned the gods to create pandora. in pandora's box was pestilence, vice, war, and many other sorrows to destroy man. however, in a moment of compassion, the gods included hope; unreasonable, groundless hope, which turns the curse of life into a blessing.

i'm glad i read about prometheus yesterday because i learned there is a play called prometheus bound, and last night i was reading the economist and a title of an article i read was: prometheus unbound, a bit. the article was about freedom of the press in different countries. i have incredible access to information. i have the wealth to surf the internet, watch tv, buy a newspaper subscription, listen to a radio powered by electricity. the good news for other countries is technology is improving and technology costs are decreasing. the radio medium is a great way to reach people. hand crank radios provide a great opportunity to access information, no batteries required.

although, people have an insatiable appetite for shitty news, tabloid news. why are we so fascinated with aberrant behavior, crime, grisly misfortune, and celebrity peccadilloes. why do we like violent movies and violent video games. do these obsessions reinforce right and wrong, stigmatize wrongs, prevent wrongs, and create a more perfect society. how many people watch the lehrer news hour. not me. it's boring. i want to see news about a local boy who got a bath toy stuck in his ass, or a police pursuit of two women who stole an ice auger from wal-mart.

i read an article in the economist about bhutan. bhutan is located east of nepal, north of bangladesh, and surrounded by the giants of china and india. bhutan is a country which exists presently in the past; it is an anachronism. if i were to visit bhutan, i would sit in the himalayas and write poetry about what a simple and idyllic life the noble bhutanese live. anyway, bhutan is wrestling with globalization. most people survive by subsistence agriculture. the government wants to protect forested mountainsides. the government has mandated the wearing of traditional garb. and, of most interest to me, the government uses the measure of gross national happiness. for real.

there are two more greek mythology figures i want to talk about. sisyphus was a thief and a murderer. as punishment, he was forced to roll a big stone up a steep hill, but before it reached the top of the hill, the stone rolled down to the bottom of the hill and sisyphus began over again. sisyphean. tantalus stole nectar and ambrosia from zeus' table. as punishment, tantalus was made to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches. when tantalus reached for fruit, the branches raised, and when he bent for drink, the water receded. tantalizing. dante's inferno has some good punishments too.

no fun league

randy
1. having a coarse manner
2. lustful, lecherous

After scoring a touchdown against the Packers on Sunday, Randy Moss strode to the endzone goalpost, directed his ass toward the crowd, and pantomimed mooning the crowd and rubbing his ass on the goalpost.

I was outraged. The public was outraged. at long last sir, have you no sense of decency. have you no shame.

speaking of impropriety

I’m drawing inspiration from Nate’s blog. He had a very good post about Randy Moss and decency. Anyway, Nate reminded me of a commercial I saw a few weeks ago. The commercial features frozen packaged dinner rolls from Pillsbury and a very thinly veiled reference to kinky sex: wife tells curious husband, "I don't know how much more of this experimentation I can take....in the kitchen, that is." then the music started and the doughboy appeared on the scene clad in buttless chaps.*

i was shocked, mostly because i didn't expect an overt reference to kneeling pretzel sex in a wholesome biscuit commercial featuring two pedestrian forty-year-olds. unfortunately, i believe the biscuit industry suffered a tragic loss of innocence.

in other news

Marye and I are flying to Amsterdam in February. Kofi and Kate will be meeting us there for the weekend.

So I was doing a little reading about Amsterdam. Amsterdam has a homomonument, which is a pink triangle with three dimensions: warning from the past, confrontation with the present, and inspiration for the future. I found the Amsterdam city flag interesting too. The three stars stand for valor, resolution, and mercy. Nice.

*didn't happen, but it's a slippery slope

journalism scandal

jose was in the twin cities looking at the u of m medical school over the weekend. jose interviewed with dr. steven miles, 2004 minnesotan of the year. it was great to talk with jose. on saturday night we had a little reunion of sorts, including jose, ziyad, and el klinker. significant others were there as well, i don't want to slight anybody.

anyway, jose recommended a book to me:
understanding health policy: a clinical approach
by thomas s. bodenheimer and kevin grumbach

while i was looking for the author of the book i found a pdf with a primer on state health care spending.

the time is nearing for the winter trip up north to the hovland hideaway.
here's the forecast for hovland, minnesota (highs and lows):
friday -7/-20
saturday -5/-15
sunday 4/-4
monday 8/0

in other news, william safire of the new york times is obviously reading my blog. on friday i wrote about how my child had asked me about why god let the tsunami happen. why do bad things happen to good people. i alluded to the philosophy of dr. pangloss in voltaire's candide, which challenged the existence of god after a huge earthquake in 1755 devastated lisbon. the earthquake killed over 100,000 people and was followed by a tsunami and fire, resulting in near total destruction.

let me digress. there is a poem by oliver wendell holmes called the deacon's masterpiece or the wonderful one-hoss shay. it refers to the lisbon earthquake. it is also a humorous poem about the weakest link, or lack thereof. a shay is a horse-drawn carriage.

back to my point. today, monday january 10, william safire of the new york times wrote his editorial about why god let the tsunami happen. he wrote about voltaire's candide. he also wrote about the book of job, which is a good book but based on a rather ridiculous premise.

god: job is a good man.

satan: job is a good man but he will betray you if fortune frowns on him. god, you are not all-powerful and cannot see into the future of men. so let us make a bet on what will happen to job if he is tested by you, the somewhat-powerful.

god: good idea satan. i have no idea what will happen in the future. i am not outside of time. i fly by the seat of my pants from day to day. sometimes i feel like i'm sitting in the back seat of a speeding car. anyway, i’ll take your bet satan.

angel: god, you are so gambling.

god: shut up.

i can’t focus. my point is william safire uses my blog to get ideas for his editorials.

dirty sanchez

Kofi sent out an email today. it was hilarious. here is some of it:

quote

After coming back from mass at St. Paul's Cathedral on Christmas Eve, I was nervously flipping channels while waiting for kick-off of the Vikes-Pack game when I noticed something on the TV guide on MTV titled "Dirty Sanchez"... you gotta watch anything with a title like that. So I flipped to it and was shortly thereafter rewarded with the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on TV. Turns out this was a warped British variation of "Jackass", and here's the stunt I happened to catch:

They put a beer bong up a guy's ass, filled his ass with beer while holding him upside down, took out the bong, shook him around for a few minutes (while still upside-down), and then flipped him over, at which point the beer - now murky & brown - started coming out of his anus... one guy caught a fair quantity of this "newly brewed stout" (that's what they called it!) in a bowl, and the three of them passed it around and drank it!

Anyway, at this point, I went into a mini-seizure and began to realize that this was an experience I would never recover from... of course the Vikes soon lost afterwards, putting me into a state of catatonic shock for Christmas Even and most of Christmas day... not a bright start to the season of good cheer!

end quote

However, the new year was off to an auspicious start when Kofi won $1700 in his NFL pool.

In other news, I saw that the tsunami was so powerful that it swept around the world over the next 36 hours, with its last residual waves perceptibly jostling tide gauges from Russia's remote northeastern Pacific waters to the North Atlantic.

incidentally, my child was asking me some questions about the tsunami the other night.

dad, why did god let the tsunami happen.

child, everything happens for a reason.

dad, for what reason did the tsunami happen.

child, it's not because god is angry at the democratic muslim nation of indonesia.

no, i wouldn't think so dad. but why didn't god stop the tsunami. does god not care enough to intervene.

egad child, what are you, a deist. we are all sinners. besides, it's all part of god's plan. all is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.

whatever pangloss.

what. who. go to your room child.

lacuna

it has been a long time. but now it's time to reacquaint myself with the blog. the hiatus in my posting can be blamed partially on attorney general gonzales, who has been censoring my site and arduously limiting my ability to access the internet. i have also been very busy at work. my last day at my job is friday january 14, at which point my week-long vacation commences with a trip north, way north, to hovland. speaking of north, yarrow's brother is named north. also, there was a man in my hometown of hastings who was known only as northpark. he had straight hair down to his shoulders. he wore sunglasses and practiced karate on trees. he was tough, and mysterious. anyway, i will soon be writing about login, inc., my place of employment for over three years. i will then post about all the previous jobs i have ever worked for money. i don't know if i will be able to post at my new job. i could access my neighbors' wireless internet from our house and post that way. what's the vote on that unethical practice.

hierarchy is freedom

in the news:
the first survey of language use in china revealed that only fifty three percent of its population can communicate in standard mandarin, the official spoken language of the country.

in other news:

is there a standard for determining how much money anyone deserves in any occupation? yes. it’s called supply and demand.

i don’t think the media is to blame for poor coverage of good role models. the media give the majority of people what they want. i wanted to watch the pacers players fight the detroit fanatics. it was awesome. but if wheaties decides to honor artest by placing the pugilist on a cereal box, i will call general mills and complain that my son is now having trouble deciding what is right and wrong. the media know what i don’t want to hear about. i don't want to hear about warrick dunn helping single moms by providing a down payment and furnishings for a house. warrick dunn is a huge pansy. the atlanta falcons will not win the super bowl because dunn helps poor single mothers.

anyway, people are enchanted by aberrations, and this fuels the media. people go looking for the finger to trigger their righteous indignation, or affirmation of superiority. and by the way, i think pedestrian should no longer mean commonplace. pedestrian should mean rare and vehicular should mean commonplace.

what are the alternatives to wages by supply and demand.

athlete pay

christmas was great fun with the family. there was much eating. there was also much playing of games: speed scrabble, yahtzee, parcheesi, aggravation. good times.

now, back to last thursday. the company i work for hit one million dollars in revenue. our boss popped open a 1996 bottle of don perignon, or as i know him, don bubbly. i drank forty dollars worth of champagne, and it wasn't even good for a buzz.

also on thursday, two women next to my cube were lambasting professional athletes. 1) professional athletes make too much money. 2) all professional athletes are either thugs, womanizers, or substance abusers. i thought it was appropriate for me to make my views known to them. 1) professional athletes deserve all the money they get, if not more. 2) there are plenty of athletes who make good role models. 3) you base your opinions on the least amount of information possible.

the supreme court is hearing a case in february about the use of eminent domain for the purpose of economic development. kelo versus the city of new london, connecticut. usually eminent domain is used for improvement of public works and infrastructure. sometimes it is used to redevelop a blighted area. the persons who are relocated must be provided with just compensation. in hastings, nebraska, a developer bought several houses in a stretch along burlington. the developer tried to buy the whole row of houses, but was deterred by two different people who wanted to stay in their respective homes. the homes that the developer was able to buy sat vacant and deteriorated over the years. the city condemned the houses as a blighted area and used eminent domain to remove the people from the two remaining houses in that stretch. compensation was not just, unless you qualify a well-placed cheap shot to the testicles as just. it gets better. the developer received funding from the government to redevelop the blighted area, an area that he blighted.

in other news, my right nut is attempting to debouch from a hole in my cargo pants.

my songs: we gotta get out of this place, keep on rockin' in the free world, and the flight of the bumblebee.

not track #16

LogIn, Inc.’s fourth volume of favorite hits was released yesterday. each employee submits a list of their chosen songs to DJ Jazzy Truitt, who arranges the final version of the cd. here are the songs.

journey: separate ways
REM: texarakana
garth brooks: ain't going down
16 horsepower: black soul choir
neko case: lady pilot
chris isaak: wicked game
england dan: i'd really love to see you tonight
the animals: we gotta get out of this place
queen: bohemian rhapsody
neil young: rockin' in the free world
the who: baba o-reilly
Rimsky-Korsakoff: flight of the bumblebee
dennis leary: asshole
dramarama: last cigarette
erykah badu: apple tree
the weather girls: it's raining men
laura branigan: gloria
b-rock and the bizz: my baby dady
stevie wonder: i gotta have a song
nat king cole: unforgettable

does anyone care to guess which three songs are mine.

in other news:

Wal-Mart is offering a <$500 laptop from Linspire, which runs a Linux-based operating system.

what's up solstice

happy solstice. the sun rose at 7:48 today and will set at 4:34. i don't know why people call the winter solstice the first day of winter. isn't it the middle of winter.

we had our bathroom sink and kitchen sink cleared out by midway sewer yesterday. for the first time since an olympic trials athlete vomited in our bathroom sink, we can leave the water running for more than three seconds. the cleaning of the sewer pipes reminded me of my days at 63 macalester street. specifically, it reminded me of a norwegian i know. he would take nasty shits in our bathroom, and before he ran out of the house fleeing his own stench, he would close the bathroom window and door and let the smell fester. one day the norwegian took a huge dump in our toilet and clogged it beyond hope of plunging. this is the time that many of us started crossing the street to make a pilgrimage to the macalester administrative headquarters and the weyerhouser bathrooms. anyway, a man from the physical plant came over to our house to clear the sewer pipe in the bathroom. he had three implements: small, medium, and large. small and medium didn't do the trick, at which point the physical plant man exclaimed "wow, shit, i've never had to use the big one before." he was genuinely excited as he grunted and twisted the giant steel implement. the story has a happy ending: the water flowed freely once more.

polar

i had the best weekend ever. we went to the dubliner on friday night. tim pavlish joined us, as did klinker and chanda. chuck and carol pavlish were there. steve pasche's parents were there, doing their best to entice paddy wagon up to harris on july 23 for steve and yarrow's minnesota wedding reception. the premium tasted good. chuck led the train around the bar during folsom prison.

saturday was reunion day. at lunch time, two old nebraskans stopped by my house: cramer and eric "i can grow a moustache in five minutes" brenneman. jude and michelle, pete, paul, and aaron and jennifer gathered for dinner at our house. it was great to see everybody and especially great to hear aaron and jennifer share experiences and obervations from their time spent in japan.

sunday morning at 9:30am, the mercury showing negative nine degrees fahrenheit, we old captains moseyed out the door for a run. we ran down river road, crossed the river on the railroad bridge, continued on to the u, crossed the washington bridge and headed back. one half mile from home pete dared jude to go polar. pete was just kidding, but jude went polar in honor of brandon guthrie. instant classic. some people were honking the horns of their cars at the 6'9" 270 pound man running without a single item of clothing above his waist. other people looked pissed and cursed that it couldn't be so.

we also saw john anderson late sunday evening.

in other news:

Top Scientists Launch Weblog on Climate Change

Top climate scientists have launched a unique website to provide commentary on the emerging new results from climate science. The site, RealClimate.org, is designed as a tool for journalists and members of the public, and will provide a quick response to developing stories and provide the context sometimes missing in mainstream commentary. The discussion is restricted solely to scientific topics and will not address political issues.

teachers are greedy

you hear the propaganda all the time. teachers are so poor. poor, poor teachers. teachers' salaries are so low. all teachers are paupers. poor teachers. granted, teachers are human, and like most humans who earn a wage in exchange for a good or service, they complain about their income, but that doesn’t excuse their exceptional avarice. the average teacher salary in minnesota for 2002-2003 was $44,745. rankings of the states 2003 and estimates of school statistics 2004. the most recent data shows that the median salary for a minneapolis-st. paul high school teacher is $49,260. the median salary for a minneapolis-st. paul elementary school teacher is $47,242. just think if one teacher marries another teacher and they live together. that’s a household income of close to $100,000. according to the census bureau, the upper limit of the 80th percentile of u.s. household income in 2001 was $83,500. that's what i call depravity. i wouldn’t be surprised to find out that teachers’ unions had filed amicus briefs in support of dick grasso. the minnesota median household income is $47,111. the minneapolis median household income is $42,010.

a minneapolis police officer earns between $35,386-$52,962, plus benefits and overtime.

“firefighters are a waste of tax dollars.” –some guy in ames, iowa

frank solich of ohio will probably face bo pelini of pittsburgh next year. pitt ended the season in the top 25. what will happen when pitt comes to lincoln next year. the first husker victory that klinker and i watched together, a spanking of a weak and overrated big ten team, was pelini's first game as head coach.

dubliner tonight.

CDC finds that gays cause apoplexy

marye and i joined tim at bound to be read on grand avenue last night to listen to dale mulfinger talk about two of his books: the cabin and getaway home. dale mulfinger is an adjunct professor in the university of minnesota architecture department and a co-founder of the architectural firm SALA. pioneer press writer and AM radio personality joe soucheray called mulfinger a cabinologist, and the moniker stuck. dale has a passion for cabins. he also looks like an owl. tim asked dale if he was a log cabin republican. at the mention of log cabin republicans i was apoplectic.

coleman demands pinochet be exculpated

today’s post is sponsored by wikipedia.

the world's tallest bridge, the millau viaduct, opened in france.

on this day in 1891 james naismith invented basketball.

you have probably heard that former dictator of chile general augusto pinochet has been formally indicted for alleged human rights abuses committed during his 17-year rule.

on september 11, 1973 pinochet deposed democratically elected salvador allende in a coup. a junta headed by pinochet was established, which immediately suspended the constitution, dissolved congress, imposed strict censorship, and banned all political parties. in addition, it embarked on a campaign of terror against leftist elements in the country. as a result, approximately 3000 chileans were executed or disappeared, more than 27000 were imprisoned or tortured, and many were exiled and received abroad as political refugees.

norm coleman, u.s. senator from minnesota, has demanded that all charges against pinochet be dropped immediately. coleman said of pinochet's indictment "it is unfortunate that a man who saved his country from communism and paved the way to freedom and economic development should be treated in this ungrateful manner. the indictment of pinochet is the indictment of freedom.”

coleman pointed out that socialist president allende had established diplomatic relations with fidel castro’s communist cuba, and allende’s economic policy had involved the nationalization of many key companies, notably u.s.-owned copper mines; whereas pinochet launched an era of economic deregulation and privatization. to accomplish his objectives, pinochet abolished the minimum wage, rescinded trade union rights, privatized the pension system, state industries, and banks, and abolished taxes on wealth and profits. some have argued that pinochet was a libertarian at heart, following the monetary policy of milton friedman.

norm coleman explained that “in addition to the creation of the successful u.s. franchise chilis, pinochet was responsible for the miracle of chile, which produced huge increases in real per capita GDP. today every chilean owns forty acres and a four bedroom home.”

coleman went on to say that chile should be a model for all countries. “we could learn a few things from pinochet. i wish we could carry out his monetary reforms right here in the united states, i really do. and sometimes i wish i could make the liberal left desaparecer [creepy smile]. pinochet also provides us with renewed faith and resolve in our foreign policy. thank you pinochet.”

when asked how pinochet provides direction in foreign policy, coleman spoke at length about the successful strategy to remove a leader hostile to the united states.

during nixon's presidency, u.s. officials attempted to prevent allende's election by financing political parties that opposed him. however, allende was elected. after allende was elected, the u.s. central intelligence agency ran operations in an attempt to incite chile's outgoing president, eduardo frei, to veto allende's congressional ratification as the new president. the cia's plan was to persuade the chilean congress to appoint allende's runner-up, conservative-liberal party candidate jorge alessandri rodriguez as president. under the plan, alessandri would promptly resign his office immediately after assuming it and call new elections. eduardo frei would then be constitutionally able to run again (the chilean constitution forbids more than two consecutive terms), and presumably easily defeat allende. however, congress rebuked the plan.

despite these temporary setbacks, the united states was determined that freedom prevail. a formal instruction was issued on 16 October 1970 to the CIA base in Chile, saying in part, "It is firm and continuing policy that Allende be overthrown by a coup. It would be much preferable to have this transpire prior to 24 October but efforts in this regard will continue vigorously beyond this date. We are to continue to generate maximum pressure toward this end, utilizing every appropriate resource. It is imperative that these actions be implemented clandestinely and securely so that the USG and American hand be well hidden..." referring to the coup, us secretary of state henry kissinger told nixon that the u.s. "didn't do it" but had "created the conditions as great as possible."

“as you know, the united states succeeded in deposing democratically-elected communist terrorist evil homosexual megalomaniac salvador allende. some people misinterpret the actions of the united states. contrary to popular opinion, the united states was not in favor of a coup d’etat, because it’s french. the united states supported a stroke of state, and if you must, a coup de grace of the communist chilean economy as a gift to the chilean people,” said coleman.

post up

okay. what today. i am currently reading two books. A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway and The Foundation by Isaac Asimov. i have read two other books by hemingway, For Whom The Bell Tolls and The Sun Also Rises, and they are pretty much the same. war, emptiness, and a lot of drinking. aaron, if i remember correctly, doesn't jennifer hate hemingway, or not hate necessarily, but "Hemingway sucks." but hemingway reads fast. about a year ago i decided that i should branch out and read science fiction. i compiled a list of "classic" science fiction books and i have been reading books off that list. on that list was the foundation trilogy by isaac asimov. I, Robot starring will smith was loosely based on themes from asimov's collection of robot stories by the same name. also, a short story of asimov's called Bicentennial Man was made into a movie starring robin williams. anyway, i enjoy science fiction. for some reason at this moment i am reminded of a time in the past when marye was staffing a table for mark dayton at the mall of america. whore coleman and whore kennedy had staffers there too. i was along and i struck up an apolitical? conversation with one of the whore staffers, and we got along quite nicely as i have blue eyes and am a methodist from nebraska. i happened to be reading native son by richard wright at the time and she asked me what i was reading. i told her. she didn't recognize it. "i only read classics." hmmm. what classics do you read. she reads les miserables and jane eyre. okay. while i was christmas shopping, i succumbed to the urge to shop for myself and i bought Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre. the book is a philosophical treatise regarded as the basis of existentialism. the book has many pages. reading will be perpetually in progress. in other news, i watched The Life of Luxury on abc last night after i got back from my run, which was nice and cold. it was a good show because i learned what to buy in the future when i am rich. several huge homes, my own personal jet, a two-mile driveway for my cars, and a yacht bigger than my ego. right now i have a place to live, airlines fly me places, a sweet hatchback, and the pavlish's would probably let me borrow their twelve foot alumacraft.

you look like a pagan - yes, you

time for a weekend recap. marye and i walked to the riverview theater on friday night to see napoleon dynamite. ben knudson says "napoleon dynamite is a good movie." the main character is napoleon dynamite, a awkward idaho high schooler. awkward people from idaho are fun to laugh at, but they are also nice people. and there is a soul mate for everyone. after the movie we crossed the street to the riverview cafe, where matthew fox was playing folk and bluegrass music on the guitar. he also broke out the steel guitar, which was most excellent.

on saturday marye and i rode the light rail into downtown minneapolis to do a little christmas shopping. while we were strolling down nicolet mall, a man walking by us looked directly at marye and said with conviction "jesus christ is lord." i thought it was really funny.

in other news, i saw a nice tie in neiman marcus for $155.

later on marye and i were at the checkout buying a couple cds for my mom at cheapo when i saw a best of fela cd and i said something like "sweet." cheapo guy behind the counter said "yes, that's a good cd." we palavered about fela and i learned that fela cds are going out of production and that cheapo guy bought all of fela's cds, all 27 of them. nice.

for those of you who haven't seen me in a while, i have been staying warm in this mild minnesota winter by wearing a dark blue farmer's vest with an enormous american flag sticker over the heart of the vest. i walked into half price books on cleveland and ford saturday night and chris mitchell happened to be working. when he saw me, he told me my vest was on upside down. naturally, such an affront flipped me into a paroxysm and i started screaming at chris, demanding to know why he hates freedom.

the vikings, what can i say.

also, congrats to dr. mejia on his success and the publication of two chemistry research papers.

the masturbating bear had no idea

cnn crossfire is consistently a source of amusement. the december 2, 2004 show discusses sex talk in schools. host james carville tries one, two, three, four, five times by my count to dispel the disquieting rumor that masturbation causes pregnancy. conservative commentator and republican strategist genevieve wood from the family research council sidestepped every time with blazing lateral quickness. here's a splice of the transcript:

"i have never known anybody to get pregnant through masturbation"
sidestep
"but you can't get pregnant through masturbation, can you."
sidestep
"can we agree that masturbation does not cause pregnancy, just -- it's simple enough. yes or no."
sidestep
"well, can you..."
sidestep
"why are you going to tell kids that they can get -- why do you lie to kids."
sidestep

crossfire referenced the waxman report. i found a report prepared for california rep henry waxman titled the content of federally funded abstinence-only education programs. "The report shows that many federally funded abstinence-only education programs use curricula that distort information about the effectiveness of contraceptives, misrepresent the risks of abortion, blur religion and science, treat stereotypes about girls and boys as scientific fact, and contain basic scientific errors." since i provide fair and sophistic coverage, here is some criticism from the heritage foundation.

while i was looking for the henry waxman report about sex, i found another waxman report. it's called iraq on the record: the bush administration's public statements on iraq. a caveat to the reader, henry waxman is a democrat and therefore cannot be trusted.

have a nice weekend.

conduct unbecoming a pilot

nbc and cbs recently refused to air a television commercial paid for by the united church of christ. the commercial begins with a scene at a church with a bouncer turning people away at the front doors. then suddenly it's out with rectitude, in with moral turpitude. a licentious message travels across the screen, accompanied by a lewd voice over.

"jesus didn't turn people away. neither do we. no matter who you are, or where you are on life's journey, you are welcome here."

after i read about this noisome commercial, i had to take a few days off work because i couldn't stop vomiting.

not many of you know this, but marye and i have a son who just started kindergarten this fall. and i have to admit, before i heard about the united church of christ commercial, i had not yet sat my son down for the big talk about the evils of all gay people. and thanks to a nebraska archdiocese, i was able to provide my son with a supplement to my words of wisdom with the latest technology.

son, it's about time i gave you this.

what is it dad, it looks like a radar gun.

no son, it's gaydar. it will help you identify and dehumanize people who are choosing to be gay. let me tell you why all gay people are evil...

in other news:

klinker informed me that he recently drilled a fingerboard into the wall overhanging the kitchen of his apartment. the man is doing pull-up workouts three times a week and has been doing so for about three weeks. i was inspired by klinker, so i tried to do pull-ups on a door frame in my house. wow. that was hard. but not futile, because i could hear muscle fibers tearing. if i stay committed, i will soon be huge. in fact, i'm a little worried about compartment syndrome. jude, what steps did you take to avoid compartment syndrome.

norm "subterfuge" coleman and the republican bevy have launched an offensive against un secretary general kofi annan to counter the oil for food scandal.

"the question shouldn't be why doesn't secretary annan resign. the question should be why isn't he in jail." -some new jersey u.s. house rep

nice.

i talked to tim yesterday and he informed me that he was going to post a picture of himself on his blog. hearsay says the picture featured tim in the cockpit in his soaring eagle pilot's uniform with his penis hanging out of his drawers. i told tim he shouldn't post that type of picture on his blog.

tim replied that he just trying to be sexy, and if the first thought after original sin was realization of nakedness, clothing is a sin, and if we really want to obey god's word, we would not have silly laws like indecent exposure, but no, just keep on sinning, ignore the holy writ and its support of nudity...

tim, get a hold of yourself, what the hell are you talking about. i'm talking about your career. a delta flight attendant was fired because she took inappropriate photos in a delta uniform. of course, they found out about her blog when she approached delta and asked them if they wanted to buy links or ads on her popular site.

anyway, now tim is all paranoid about the existence of his blog and will cease posting immediately.

Fired Flight Attendant Finds Blogs Can Backfire

pictures responsible for firing of flight attendant

care-a-lot

marye and i bought a five foot table christmas tree last night from the parking lot by the macalester track. all proceeds go to charity, which is too bad, but sometimes you have to overlook the negatives of holiday consumption. then, instead of going to china, we went to target to buy christmas ornaments and the "ultimate" tree stand, with its unique two-level screw stabilization system. as we were walking through the store on our way the checkout, we heard singing.

"let's get physical, phy-si-cal. let's get..."

i looked to my right and my supercilia scrunched in low as i realized - sweet jesus, that music is coming from a dancing, furry, love-a-lot care bear.

what happened next cannot be verified. however, let it be known that share bear broke into song.

"just put it in your mouth..."

stop that, i shouted, that other song was creepy but this is where i draw the line you filthy animal.

then gravely-voiced grumpy bear yelled at me. "suck my dick."

i immediately summoned target manager david and expressed my stern indignation. grumpy bear was suspended from the retail floor for one day without pay, a cost of $178,048, which is the conservative cost estimate of 3561 blow jobs.

libertarian platform

immigration
the lp platform advocates the elimination of all restrictions on immigration. no border patrol. no INS (now the citizen and immigration services).

monopolies
the lp would repeal anti-trust laws. however, the lp condemns all coercive monopolies.

environmental protection
the lp would control pollution through strict liability. you are responsible when pollution breaches the boundary of your property and affects others.

military
the lp would change the name of the department of offense to the department of defense. the lp calls for the withdrawal of all american military personnel stationed abroad.

law enforcement
the lp would like to see an increase in private protection services and voluntary community crime control groups.

social security, medicare, public education
buh-bye.

homeland security anarchist watch:
eric klinker (anarcho-capitalist)
chris mitchell (anarcho-romanticist/communist)
wish care bear (hungarian revoluntionist)
harmony care bear (related to emma goldman?)

the only mulligan you get is mulligan stew, bitch

a very good friend of mine had an interview this morning for a very desirable job. i asked him how it went.

"i fucked the dog."

i said, whatever you mean, it can't be good. he said,

"no, it's not good. it's never good to screw the pooch."

do you think you'll be called back for a second interview.

"not unless the dog calls."

and that's where it stands. a shitty day.

Screw the Pooch
The phrase screw the pooch, meaning to mess up, commit a grievous error, was made famous in Tom Wolfe's book The Right Stuff. The phrase is a euphemism from US military slang. The original expression was fuck the dog and meant to waste time, to loaf on the job. Fuck the dog dates appears in print for the first time in 1935, but in 1918 another euphemistic version, feeding the dog, appears. The original sense dates to 1918. Over the decades, the meaning shifted to the current sense and the screw the pooch wording took the place of the original phrasing.

smitten kitten, not quite

friday night i went to the kitty cat klub in dinkytown. it's right by annie's parlor, a place my high school cross country coach always raved about. “they have the best malts.” the kitty cat klub is a sprawling bar filled with big cushion couches and chairs, ferns and banana plants, and cool cats, lots of cool cats. we were there to celebrate the birth and life of liz connors, who has lived a life so full that you will often hear her say "babies equal death." i paid a five dollar cover for the shittiest music i've ever listened to. some bastard basically programmed music into his computer, set up his system, and pressed play. maybe it was more difficult than that, but i hope not, because that means he worked hard to suck. anyway, it was good to see peeps.

on saturday marye and i went to the barn (jerusalem) to watch the gophers defeat the holy cross crusaders in a game of basketball. the gophers won.

then saturday night marye and i went to a christmas extravaganza at the house of chanda of eric klinker. good times were had by all, especially the santa decoration that was slowly and mesmerizingly fondling his santa man boob. yikes. the keg beer was cheap and cold (read superb). doctor klinker was donning a 1970s corduroy sports jacket. smoking.

on sunday andrea, tim, marye, and i rode the light rail into downtown minneapolis, out to the lindbergh terminal of the airport, and back to our original station. that was my first time on the light rail. it was a positive experience, except for when tim broke wind, hard.

marye and i also hung out with doctors ziyad and jenny on sunday evening. they are going cruising in florida for christmas. ziyad is hoping find the sister island to stony island.

so, that was pretty informative.

in other news:
i fucking hate local news.
i’ve been reading the libertarian platform.
more on both later this week.

in august of 1999 i trounced aaron ritz in a game of hearts. (wink)

doctor sobek slapping hos

one of the rare enjoyable things about my car commute is the chance to listen to minnesota public radio's music station KSJN 99.5 FM. the morning show is on when i'm driving to work in the 96 ford escort with the broken speedometer. the two hosts are dale connelly and mr. action, mr. sports, knows all, tells only some, mr. jim ed poole. the morning show delights the ears with an eclectic music selection. this morning they were playing a little woody guthrie.

now i must dedicate space to the former owner of our home.

dr. matthew "tour de force" sobek is a research associate for the minnesota population center at the university of minnesota. dr. sobek is also involved in a world census project. the minnesota population center is currently working to digitize the entire world's census data and post it on the internet. although it might never be completed, it is already the largest and most comprehensive international census database on the planet.

that's nice, but let's get to the reason i find him such a venerable fellow. he lambastes bush and coleman.

i found this on the web (you must read it, although it may induce depression):

election 2004: some facts for republicans

this letter to the editor was in the star tribune yesterday:

coleman's courage

it was inspiring to see norm coleman's call for kofi annan's resignation over the U.N. oil-for-food affair. as coleman says, the "CEO" should take responsibility when something so significant goes wrong.

fortunately, coleman has the moral high ground to take this stance, given his incessant demands that high-level heads roll over the abu ghraib scandal - one of the blackest marks on our national reputation, a terrorist recruitment bonanza, and a danger to american troops in the future.

and who can forget coleman's podium-thumping demands that the ax fall on the head architects of the iraqi occupation, an inexcusably slipshod affair for which we can only guess at the final cost in lives and treasure?

and we all saw how coleman put his political career on the line in calling for a full accounting up the chain regarding the faulty claims about iraqi weapons that were used to justify an unprovoked war. he has surely been a tireless champion calling for accountability from an administration that seems only capable of pointing the finger outward. but that's the kind of consistency - dare we call it integrity - that we've come to expect from our senator.

Matt Sobek, Minneapolis

in other news:
last night was one of those runs that affirms it, i love running. running is catharsis. running in minnesota is great. running in winter is great. after working 8ass to 5ass, i'm always primed for physical activity. running also cures all ills. i've had a little sinus/throat sickness dragging me down this week and i've been hacking greenish industrial glue out of my throat. i've been saving it to use as a garnish. anyway, the run really cleared shit out. thanks run. and the weather was great: calm, quiet, nineteen degrees, crisp, salubrious. running allows my mind to hover between my subconscious and conscious, touching a thousand subjects or relaxing with the om. running.

what makes chains bad?

from tuesday, october 26, 2004
i found an article on kofi's old neighborhood, andersonville in chicago. andersonville commissioned an economic impact study to elucidate the importance of small, locally-owned businesses. "for every $100 spent in 10 locally owned shops studied there, $73 stayed in chicago's economy. for every $100 spent in a chain with comparable products, $43 appeared to stay, according to the study by civic economics, a firm that penned an often-cited 2002 report comparing a chain to a local bookstore in austin, texas. the chicago study found that money spent in local stores stayed local because employees were paid more, owners used more local goods and services for their businesses and contributed more to local charities."

chains are bad for local economies and chains destroy indigenous culture. homogenous=bad. some people like to shorten that to homo=bad. personally, i don't want to live in anyneighborhood, anycity, anystate, U.S.A.

whole foods is a chain. i could do better, say, mississippi market. but whole foods is better than a cub or rainbow. so, are high quality chains good. chains have the power to do a lot of good. star bucks does good.

i don't really know why i shop at whole foods. i'll have to think about that.

i should be a network anchor

from the villager, which covers the mac-groveland neighborhood:

xcel energy plans to build a new natural gas power plant on the site immediately southwest of the high bridge coal burning power plant. xcel has three power plants in the twin cities area, all of which are older than fifty years old. the minnesota legislature is requiring retrofits or new construction to conform with emissions reductions standards. for those of you who need a little refresher on your st. paul geography, the high bridge power plant is across the river south southeast of downtown st. paul. robert street ascends from downtown, up by the plant, up onto the bluff across the river, and into mr. tim pavlish's neighborhood. currently the power plant burns 5000 tons of coal per day to generate 243 megawatts of electricity. the new plant will generate 515 megawatts. the new plant probably won't be completed until 2008. during the summer months, xcel has to spray 50000 gallons of water per hour on the 150000 ton coal pile to keep the coal dust down. the rock-tenn paper recycler industry located by vandalia and I94 (right by the dubliner) will have to find an alternative source of power for their operations because they currently use a five mile pipe to pipe in steam from the high bridge power plant to generate electricity. rock-tenn wants to build a biomass power generation facility.

people are talking about a return of the street car to st. paul. we'll see. street cars are cheaper than light rail, and classier than buses. we need classy. poor people on buses make my ride less enjoyable. i hate all poor people, mostly because they are dumb and lazy, but for other reasons too.

people are talking about chains on grand avenue. chipotle recently slipped into a space by the intersection of grand and victoria, by cafe late. i do my best to support local businesses. that means i shop there when i shop. in fact, i supported my local hardware store just the other night. like poor people, chains are bad. people think the drive from ogallala, nebraska, to sterling, colorado sucks. well, i've got news for you, if you shop at a chain, you suck.

from the southside pride, which covers the longfellow neighborhood:

the minneapolis department of parks and recreation continues to make progress on converting rails to trails all the way from lake calhoun to the river road. remember the railroad bridge between lake street and franklin, that will be the midtown greenway.

in other news:
i saw that soybean rust, a harmful fungus, made its way into missouri. nebraska governor mike johanns was nominated as secretary of the USDA. secretary, what a pansy.

overspending

Here’s some stuff that I read in the Star Tribune:

American Debt

Average Household Debt: $19,400
(that includes credit cards, auto loans, and other consumer debt)
Average Household credit card debt: $8,700.
40% of households pay bills in full each month.
Subtract those who pay in full and the average credit card debt is $14,400.
The national savings rate is 0.2%.
Most debt is due to overspending.

Top 10 Social Investment Funds

Fund Name: Assets
Ariel Fund: $3.4 billion
Ariel Appreciation: $2.2 billion
Pax World Balanced Fund: $1.3 billion
Domini Social Equity Fund: $1.2 billion
New Covenant Growth Fund: $814 million
Parnassus Equity Income: $720 million
Calvert Social Equity (A): $695 million
New Covenant Income Fund: $536 million
CRA Qualified Investment Fund: $515 million
Calvert Social Balanced Fund: $483 million

Source: socialfunds.com

Has anybody read the Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins? I started to read the first book in college but I got pissed off and quit. Jesus comes to earth for the second time and starts killing infidels.

"No Christ, please don't kill me."

"Die infidel. Die and go to hell where there will be much anguish and gnashing of teeth and the stench of sulfur."

"Jesus Christ, why are you so angry."

"Go to hell, homo."

Hey, don’t be mad, it’s the truth.

In other news, Robert Service (great name) wrote “Stalin: A Biography,” which shows the more human side of Stalin.

Everybody is having a good time talking about airport searches for breast bombs. Just wait until a terrorist sticks a bomb in his anus and blows up a plane with his anal bomb. Let the searching begin.

By the way, I urinated all over the hood of a car in 2002. Besides, where in the Bible does it say not to do that.

moving moving moving

this morning was a sad morning. it was my last morning enjoying convenient public transportation from home to work. cubeland on the fifth floor of the empire building in downtown st. paul was razed this morning. the air tastes like dust, not good dust like topsoil dust, but indoor dust, which is probably made up of dead dust mites, tiny hairs, sloughed skin cells, and skanky city dust. now i'm sitting at my makeshift desk. tomorrow we relocate to oakdale near the confluence of 94 and 694/494.

on an unrelated note, i haven't sinned since may 30, 2003.

I-80 take me home

nebraska was the good life.

schultz's wedding was fun. posed pictures are ridiculous. i was forced to grab the lapels of my tux up above my nipples. i rebeled to this unnatural pose by making sure my smile featured both upper and lower rows of teeth. i saw the legendary troy conyers. we both slipped up and swore several times in the catholic church. i argued that i wasn't really cursing because i was quoting somebody. when troy asked who i was quoting, i had to admit that i was quoting myself. troy decided that it was okay as long as the original quote did not occur in a church. if you saw schultz's ring, you would think it was an ankle bracelet. he’s a thick guy.

my dad's brother vance died thursday november 18 and the funeral was monday, so it was nice to be there for that.

i saw josh cramer. we hung out at the reno bar. we reminisced. if two words that you have never heard sequentially are going to come out of someone's mouth, that mouth will probably be josh cramer's. peeps were discussing where two people had lived relative to each other and cramer ended the lively conversation with a definitive "caddywampus bitch." for those of you who know and are interested in the fate of the three-testicled brian litz, he is alive and well. litz sells used cars during the day, works at a bar during the night, and has promiscuous sex with many anonymous and extremely obese women later on at night.

in other news, i ate a lot of food.

while i was home, my parents referred me to an essay on pieter bruegel the elder's sixteenth century painting, landscape with the fall of icarus. my dad has a sort of encyclopedia set of artists, with a book devoted to each artist, so i actually got to see the painting. the focal point is a ploughman, head down, ploughing his field on a hill in the foreground of the painting. further down the hill a shepherd is gazing ponderously off into the distance. the background contains a flourishing city and a calm bay. a large merchant ship is sailing on your right hand side. in the water near the merchant ship you can barely perceive the legs of icarus just before they submerge into the water. i don’t know much greek mythology, but i know icarus escaped imprisonment on wings of wax, flew upward, but too near the sun, which melted his wings and sent him hurtling down toward his death in the sea. think of icarus what you will. in the painting, nobody gives a shit about icarus. as some of you may not know, i was hanging out with the ploughman in a pub later that month, and i told him what had happened, because he hadn't seen it in the vulpine news. the ploughman appeared to have the inclination to say something, but in the end he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, and then looked down into his tenebrous beer.

national 3d cross country meet results
regional teams:
7. stolaf
8. carleton
11. nebraska wesleyan
14. wartburg

congratulations to bucy, fulton, and richards. does anybody know what happened to sam hauck. i wouldn't expect viscosity and thermal breakdown in november, but it looks like he blew up, which could have cost stolaf 70 points; however, they still edged cross-town rival carleton.

congratulations to steve and yarrow. the williams men finished 9th and williams women finished 1st.

and lastly, i would like to congratulate to missy buttry and liz woodworth on their 1-2 finish and their awesome porn names.

outkast's andre three thousand says we need a glass of cold water to chase the hate away.

nebraska 20 - colorado 26
nebraska finishes the season with first losing record since my dad's sophomore year in college.

vikings 27 - yagwars 16

woodspice

two things

first. i had to buy some deodorant because the building i work in keeps our office at 77 degrees, no shit. do you know what 77 feels like to my body in november in minnesota. my body says 86 and sunny. naturally, me being a man uber alles, i don't want my armpits to smell like roses. that's why i bought woodspice, a deodorant cloying of man musk (actually sage and lemongrass, but don't tell anyone).

second. if you're feeling down, visit rather good. i recommend giant bee. and you might recognize we like the moon from the quizno commercials.

i will be away on assignment until november 29. jude has agreed to write on my behalf while i am gone. just for the record jude, i think you're a love lover. sometimes i say things i don't mean.

administer the discipline to me, hard

i just read that kmart and sears are combining forces to form the third largest retailer behind wal-mart and home depot. on that note...

i watched frontline on pbs last night. is wal-mart good for america?

wal-mart was born in the 1950s with sam walton's five and dime store. sam walton's formula: buy cheap, sell for less, and make your profit on high volume and fast turnover. wal-mart had 38 stores in 1970. now every week 100 million shoppers enter its 3400 stores. wal-mart had $256 billion in sales last year. that's one IBM, one hewlett-packard, one dell computer, one microsoft, and one cisco systems, with $2 billion left. in the past we had pennsylvania railroad, u.s. steel, and general motors, now we have wal-mart headquartered in bentonville, arkansas.

wal-mart has incredible efficiency and amazing logistics. wal-mart uses barcode data to its fullest potential. managers can monitor sales by time and by any product variable (color, fabric, size, etc.). wal-mart kicks ass as a business machine, but do machines have feelings.

how did wal-mart rise to power. people voted for wal-mart with their dollars, not just wal-mart, but big box retailers in general. as a result, manufacturers no longer sell to thousands of retailers, instead, like in the case of rubbermaid, 5-7 retailers represent two thirds of sales volume. big box retailers have incredible power, which has shifted production from push production to pull production. in push production manufacturers decide what to produce and then try to get retailers to buy and sell the products for them. in pull production retailers observe what is selling and then tell manufacturers what to produce and when. wal-mart doesn't negotiate on manufacturer prices. for example, rubbermaid needed to pass the cost increase of resin (raw material) on to the consumer. wal-mart said no. let's review the manufacturer's choices: accept wal-mart's price or see your products disappear from wal-mart's shelves. remember, wal-mart is about 25% of the retail market. so how do manufacturers acquiesce to wal-mart's price demands. they move production to china.

today wal-mart has 6000 global suppliers, 80% of which are in china. remember wal-mart's "buy american" campaign in the late 1980s. that was nice. then sam walton died in 1992 and wal-mart stock started to slide down. my precious, no, not the stock price. wal-mart increased profits through importing merchandise with huge profit margins, as in 60-80% profit margins versus 18-20%. chinese workers earn 25 to 50 cents per hour. cheap labor is cheap.

market forces, free trade, right. the u.s. signed an international trade agreement with china. china joined the world trade organization. maybe not free trade. the last remaining television manufacturer in the u.s. filed a court case against china for illegally dumping below market value. wal-mart sided with china. the manufacturer argued that china's currency valuation is too low, china has unfair labor standards, and the chinese government subsidizes like a mo-fo. the manufacturer won the case and import duties were imposed. duties saved the day. but can duties win the war.

china is the largest exporter to the u.s. economy in virtually all consumer goods categories. wal-mart is the largest retailer in the u.s. economy in virtually all consumer goods categories. china and wal-mart make out in public, and that's gross. at the long beach port in california, china ships $36 billion to the u.s. and the u.s. ships $3 billion to china. fair and balanced, like fox. americans have the income to buy, the chinese don't. the u.s. exports cotton and imports clothing, exports hides and imports shoes, exports scrap metal and imports machinery. hmmm. pray to the smiling curve.

for whom does the smiling curve smile

china: wrong part of the smiling curve

other stuff:

frontline focused on shenzhen, a rice field twenty years ago but now a city of seven million that will soon be the world's third busiest port. shenzhen is located by hong kong and macao. macao has the most desirable casino real estate in the world. but that's another story.

wal-mart has a strategy called opening price points. select advertised items have crazy low prices and will beat the competition, but other items don't necessarily have the lowest price. lure customers into the store with the crazy low prices on select goods and use these opening price points to establish the perception that all wal-mart products are cheaper than the competition's.

frontline didn't talk at all about wal-mart employees, wages, benefits, unions, etc. if you want to read a shitty but popular book about low-wage jobs, read "nickle and dimed" by barbara "all i want is a sinecure" ehrenreich. congratulations barb on you big fucking expose.

in other news. i read that there is an article in nature about how humans evolved to run. i read an editorial that compared colin powell to the guy who follows elephants around at a circus and picks up their shit. i don’t know if it fits, but it’s a good analogy.

RIP ODB

reading update

i finished "all the kings men" by robert penn warren. it's a story inspired by the real huey pierce long, governor and then senator of louisiana. long was known for his dictatorial control of louisiana. he campaigned under the slogan of "every man a king, but no one wears a crown." true to his word, he soaked the rich.

i finished "as i lay dying" by william “mississippi” faulkner. a mother of five dies. the family takes her forty miles away to another county to be buried. the book is told in stream of consciousness style by 15 different narrators in 59 chapters. each chapter is narrated by one character.

i finished cat's cradle by kurt vonnegut. it's about religion. it's funny, but maybe not funny if you are religious because you don’t think religion is a placebo. anyway, vonnegut creates a religion (bokononism) and weaves a good story.

i read a book review of “the empire has no clothes: u.s. foreign policy exposed” by ivan eland, a guy from the libertarian cato institute. it sounds good.

from the nytimes

exercise can result in microscopic muscle tears, which can lead to inflammation. white blood cells repair the muscles, releasing chemicals that signal soreness. so.

from the september issue of american journal of sports medicine
1. stretching does not prevent muscle soreness
2. massage does little to improve recovery after eccentric muscle use

post run eating
"There is some evidence that consuming protein and carbohydrates in the immediate period after exercise may decrease subsequent muscle damage, but that research is in its infancy," said Dr. Tarnopolsky. "What has been fairly well established is that eating food in the post-exercise period is better than starving.”

and if a peculiar norwegian cross country runner asks you if he can compensate for running by training for cross country skiing, you can cite dr. tarnopolsky: "It's all about sport specificity."

whose house

congratulations mac. third place among miac teams at the region meet. stolaf and carleton took one-two overall. bo was 14 seconds away from an individual birth to nationals.

7. Macalester
20 Bo Rydze, Sr 26:05 5:15
28 Eric Olson, Sr 26:20 5:18
41 Roscoe Sopiwnik, Jr 26:41 5:22
55 Dylan Keith, So 27:04 5:27
60 Nate Crider, Fr 27:11 5:28
85 Matt Wegmann, Fr 27:38 5:33
104 Tim Stendahl, Jr 28:17 5:41
Time = 2:13:20 Places = 204

nebraska 3 – oklahoma 30
hey, they beat the spread.

minnesota politics

minnesota had the highest voter turnout in the nation at 77.3%. in minneapolis 78% of the voters didn't chose bush. the elections gave the minnesota house an extreme makeover. the democrats gained 14 seats, closing the republican majority to 68-66. democrats control the senate 36-31. governor tim "small testicles" pawlenty has started harassing native american owned casinos in an attempt to squeeze money out of them and into state coffers. pawlenty has been forced to do this because he apparently needs money but refuses to raise taxes. i emailed pawlenty and said "why don't you cut some programs, is it because you're a huge pussy." pawlenty emailed back with a timorous "yes."

tim "duplex" pavlish

marye and i helped tim move a few things to his new house on saturday. the place is nice. the inside is very new. tim is inhabiting the first floor. enter the front door, take a right into the right half of tim's floor. from front to back you have living room, dining room, bedroom. in the living and dining areas the floors are wood, the walls are yellow, and the ceilings are high. the windows are long, six feet maybe, and let in the winter sun. the only bathroom on the first floor is in tim's bedroom. if you are over 250 pounds, you can’t take a shit there. the left half of the first floor houses tim's spacious kitchen, where tim will be training for an appearance on iron chef. to the left of the kitchen is the laundry room. now for the upstairs. enter the front door, high knees, up, take a right, up some more and there you are. a bedroom occupies the front quarter of the second floor. it has a big closet and space for a desk. the middle half of the second floor is split with a living room on the right and a kitchen on the left. the rear quarter of the second floor has a bathroom on the left and bedroom on the right. tim has one renter already, a bibulous cousin. tim is also friendly with the neighbors already. a little too friendly if you ask me. friday afternoon tim had just finished toweling off after a shower and was walking into his bedroom when suddenly his 82 year old neighbor marge scared the bejesus out of him. “hi tim, i see that you’re naked. anyway, i brought some cake and icecream for you.” “marge, jesus!, i mean, thanks. how about you wait in the dining room.” the point of this story is that if you go to visit tim and the door is locked, he still might be home. marge is cool though, she has a basketball hoop. sometime tim and i will play her in 21.

in other news, i went shopping for schultz’s wedding gift at target on sunday. i bought him a sponge bob square pants soap holder.

great garb

pictures from halloween are finally online. first we have tim pavlish displaying his check from the bocce tour, then the angelic marye, tim fondling his bocce ball, host matt gabrielson resting his beer cup on his huge godly rack, me as the new batman, cowboy and sub four minute miler luke watson, matt's favorite toy (don't worry it's not toxic), jason lehmkuhle as a hooters girl, slash (liz's boyfriend charlie) and sponge bob, some of team minnesota (spot the olympian), matt indulging the kimono clad liz connors, tommy trojan man, and sponge bob pissing off the edge of the deck. good times.

i support hierarchy

"Winning the Oil Endgame offers a coherent strategy for ending oil dependence, starting with the United States but applicable worldwide. There are many analyses of the oil problem. This synthesis is the first roadmap of the oil solution-one led by business for profit, not dictated by government for reasons of ideology. This roadmap is independent, peer-reviewed, written for business and military leaders, and co-funded by the Pentagon. It combines innovative technologies and new business models with uncommon public policies: market-oriented without taxes, innovation-driven without mandates, not dependent on major (if any) national legislation, and designed to support, not distort, business logic."

the rocky mountain institute is a good site to visit.

check out the healthy forests web site. on an unrelated note, the senate passed a resolution allowing only "best yet" brand foods to be served in the congressional cafeteria. when bill frist was questioned about the resolution he replied "why not."

testimony of secretary of the interior gale norton before the house committee on resources on the arctic coastal plain domestic energy security act of 2003.

*

wiki

A wiki is a website that allows a user to add content, as on an internet forum, but also allows that content to be edited by any other user. the term wiki can also refer to the collaborative software used to create such a website.

A wiki enables documents to be written collectively in a simple markup language using a web browser. Wiki software originated in the design pattern community as a way of writing and discussing pattern languages. The Portland Pattern Repository was the first wiki, established by Ward Cunningham in 1995. Cunningham invented the wiki name and concept, and produced the first implementation of a wiki engine. Cunningham named the term wiki for the "wiki wiki" or "quick" shuttle buses at Honolulu Airport.

A number of jargon terms have emerged in the wiki community.

WikiGnome: A friendly editor participating in a wiki by contributing helpful little edits and additions without much noise. Obviously, this can be seen as a role adopted more or less occasionally by a person who may or may not be otherwise active on the same wiki.

WikiFairy: Another friendly contributor working to beautify pages on a wiki.

WikiGremlin: Roughly the opposite of a WikiGnome: somebody wreaking havoc and perpetrating sometimes intelligent but always mischievous and malicious edits. Clearly a variant of vandalism.

A common defense against persistent "vandals" is to simply let them deface as many pages as they wish, knowing that they can easily be tracked and reverted after the vandal has left. This policy can quickly become impractical, however, in the face of systematic defacements born out of anger or frustration. As an emergency measure, some wikis allow the database to be switched to read-only mode, while others enforce a policy in which only established users who have registered prior to some arbitrary cutoff date can continue editing. Generally speaking, however, any damage that is inflicted by a "vandal" can be reverted quickly and easily. More problematic are subtle errors inserted into pages which go undetected, for example changing of album release dates and discographies on Wikipedia.

*

"By challenging the arguments and ideas of our allies, we make them think about improving their own democratic discourse. Next time they'll come back with better discussion tools, not just talking like tools. Well, that or they will just punch us next time." -Eric Klinker

*

2004 Federal Tax Rates

Single

Taxable income is over: But not over: The tax is: Plus: Of the amount over
$0: $7,150: $0.00: 10%: $0
7,150: 29,050: 715.00: 15%: 7,150
29,050: 70,350: 4,000.00: 25%: 29,050
70,350: 146,750: 14,325.00: 28%: 70,350
146,750: 319,100: 35,717.00: 33%: 146,750
319,100: 92,592.50: 35%: 319,100

Married Filing Jointly

Taxable income is over: But not over: The tax is: Plus: Of the amount over
$0: $14,300: $0.00: 10%: $0
14,300: 58,100: 1,430.00: 15%: 14,300
58,100: 117,250: 8,000.00: 25%: 58,100
117,250: 178,650: 22,787.50: 28%: 117,250
178,650: 319,100: 39,979.50: 33%: 178,650
319,100: 86,328.00: 35%: 319,100

effective federal tax rates 1979-2001

it's a pickwickian blog... sometimes

login, inc. met its october revenue goals, so we had lunch paid for by the boss. however, because of that lunch, i don't have much time to write.

it is 77 degrees in my workplace. what do you think about that. it makes me angry.

my dad finished harvest last week. soybeans yielded slightly below average but corn kicked ass, above 200 bushels per acre.

i will be driving down to nebraska on friday november 19. schultz's wedding is on saturday november 20. i am in the wedding. it will be fun. then i will be in nebraska enjoying the good life until i return to minnesota on sunday november 28. i am disappointed that i won't be able to run the living history farm race and disappointed that i will not be able to stay at the ritz household. it breaks my streak of three lhf races. stupid weddings. kidding.

it was close, 51-48, that's close

i read an article about supernovas. the theory is that supernovas evolve in double star systems, where one star becomes a white dwarf (one of the densest forms of matter) and accretes matter from its larger partner star until it hits the chandrasekhar limit, at which point degeneracy pressure cannot support the star, thus creating a type 1a supernova. but how does it happen. is the supernova a deflagration or a detonation. the answer is both. the star burns like a candle and then detonates, creating heavy elements. like my astronomy professor at mac asked us one day, is your outfit supernova-free. probably not. are you wearing a ring, do you have a zipper on your pants, do you have a filling in a tooth, are you wearing a watch, are you concealing a glock. thank you supernovas. anyway, the resulting thermonuclear explosion means the end of the white dwarf and sends its partner star speeding across the universe.

i don’t know if you saw the news last week that dutch filmmaker theo van gogh, who was widely known for his mocking criticism of conservative muslims, was murdered by a young muslim who had sought to make contact with militant groups in the past. well, monday in eindhoven a bomb damaged a muslim elementary school, in what authorities say they believe was intended as an act of revenge for the killing of van gogh. not good. van gogh was due to release a film about pim fortuyn. remember jean-marie le pen from france, that guy was crazy too.

and did you see the news about the upheaval caused by floresians, miniature people found to have lived on the indonesian island of flores until just 13,000 years ago. floresians stood about three and a half feet tall and had tiny brains, but they made sophisticated stone tools that demonstrate high intelligence. are floresians descendants of homo erectus, or are they descendants of homo sapiens downsized by island selection in an environment lacking predators but also lacking food sources. or maybe floresians are unrelated, like neanderthals.

good article by david brooks: the values-vote myth.
who will it be in 2008: candidates begin to jockey for 2008
this article was okay: bansai, debunking the kamikaze myth

demographics is destiny. liberals have fewer kids. liberals are a dying breed.

families join evangelical churches as a refuge against the septic tide of popular culture that threatens to carry away their children.

god, gays, guns.

am i an elitist.

you have a nice face

the venerable and vulgar eric klinker, the recently converted and baptized kris johnstone (former coworker of mine), and the big fundamentals traveled down to ames, iowa, friday night to partake in the pre-game festivities of the iowa state - nebraska football game. we enjoyed ingurgitating quarter beers, savoring toothsome gyros, watching toothsome women put their christian values in motion on the dance floor, micturating in public, and of course, provoking the common species of choleric homophobe found prowling the ames bar scene.

iowa state 34 - nebraska 27
why do bad things happen to righteous people.

from today’s read of the news

here are some criminal justice stats from 2003:

1,470,045 state and federal inmates
2,212,475 inmates when city, county, and juvenile inmates are added to state and federal inmate population

state and federal inmate percentages
44% black
35% white
19% Hispanic

10% of african american men ages 25-29 are in prison.

a note on campaign finance:
In total, this year's races for Congress and the White House are estimated to have cost roughly $3.9 billion, about a third more than they did four years ago, according to the Center for Responsive Politics, which tracks campaign spending.

the more you know:
three in four americans say if iraq did not have wmd or support al qaeda, us should not have gone to war. to read about this and other amazing misconceptions by the american public visit the program on international policy attitudes.

environmentalist?

okay tim of the fourth estate, i want to figure out exactly why you want to protect the environment. let’s start a dialogue, although i will run roughshod over you and anyone who supports the environment.

tim, you made a lot of claims in your blog, but not as many claims as assumptions.

1. drilling ANWR is bad

why should i care about the arctic national wildlife refuge. you say anwr will be ruined. ruined for whom. ruined for caribou and marmots. ruined for tundra.

2. forests should not be logged.

why should forests not be logged. maybe you would retort that logging destroys flora and fauna. why are flora, fauna, and landscape so important to you. is it the aesthetic, the value you give it. surely you don’t believe in intrinsic value. do you have a nature calendar featuring seal pups in november and maggots putrefying them in december.

3. global warming is bad.

it isn’t that bad. and remember, humans are the great ameliorators, we can change and fix in a hurry if forced.

if you want to reduce emissions, buy a fuel efficient car or travel less. but i like to travel. write to xcel energy and minnegasco and tell them that you want to buy renewable energy. recycle, reduce, reuse. cut down your materialism. make purchases that reflect your values. seventh generation is a great company. do you buy their detergent, dish soap, or toilet paper. where do you buy your food. do you choose organic or pesticides. do you have energy efficient light bulbs. have you read about the energystar program on the department of energy web site. have you weatherized your house. do you donate to the trust for public land or the nature conservancy. i don’t have the money. you always have the money, it just depends what is more important. vote with your dollars. your money is their profit. without the preservation of values in consumption, there can be no values in production.

i want a cabin on the lake. i want a cabin in the pristine wilderness. if you universalize my decision, there would be no wilderness. there would be cabins on every lake and covering every site with a buena vista. i want to preserve nature for me, not for other people.

what the hell do you mean by greater good.
what distinguishes you as an environmentalist from a republican, besides your vote at the poll.

pictures

i plan on bringing pictures to work tomorrow and making them available via shutterfly, so here's my trial run.

pictures

let me know if you can see the pics and if it takes forever to load.

you think you know me

okay, time for a little biography of my religious upbringing for all you pagans out there.

i had been going to GRACE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH before i was two, playing under the pews. i wasn’t baptized until age six. i was confirmed in junior high. i went to church every sunday and wednesday. i learned the old testament: genesis, exodus, leviticus, numbers, deuteronomy, joshua, judges, ruth, first book of samuel, second book of samuel, first and second kings, and the chronicles too, ezra, nehemia, esther, job, 150 psalms, and the proverbs too, eccelsiastes next, then the song of solomon, isaiah, jeremiah... i can't remember any more. i learned the new testament: matthew, mark, luke, john, acts, romans, first and second corinthians, galations, epehsians, phillippians, colossians, first and second thessalonians... i can't remember the rest. my mom always read the bible to me and my sister. we covered most of it, then i read it again myself. numbers was my favorite. i kid.

then i matriculated to the most pagan of institutions. one of the courses i took my first semester at dear old MACALESTER was cultures in conflict, taught by professor overman. one book that made a huge impact on me was “christians as the romans saw them.” i read books about paganism and i also purchased a bible containing the apocrypha, which i knew nothing about because protestant churches generally exclude the apocrypha. martin luther rejected the books due to some verses that seemed to contradict his views, especially a verse in second maccabees which alludes to purgatory: "it is a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from their sins". by the way, the word APOCRYPHA, from the greek "hidden", refers in general to religious works that are not considered canonical, or part of officially-accepted scripture. such works are often believed not to have been "inspired" or to be in some way "less inspired" by divine processes or entities, such as holy wisdom or the holy spirit. am i inspired. hmmm. most works that are considered apocryphal in the hebrew bible were written in languages other than hebrew, such as greek or aramaic.

from the apocrypha i read the books of judith, esther, and first and second maccabees. judith dresses up all skanky and cuts off the head of an invading general. esther is a brave queen who prevents the genocide of jews. first maccabees tells the story of the conquest of palestine by the greeks under alexander the great, the attempt by the greeks to impose greek culture on the jews, and the jewish revolt against that domination. it’s not as exciting as it sounds. second maccabees focuses on the jews' revolt against antiochus and concludes with the defeat of the syrian general nicanor in 161 bc by judas maccabeus. catholics and orthodox consider second maccabees to be a canonical and part of the bible, while protestants regard it as apocryphal. most jews, while not considering it to be scripture, consider it useful as a historical supplement to first maccabees, but reject most of the doctrinal innovations present in the work. on a side note about MARTYRS, it should be known that the long descriptions of the martyrdoms of eleazer and of a mother with her seven sons (2 macc 6:18-7:42) caught the imagination of medieval christians. several churches are dedicated to the maccabeean martyrs, and they are among the very few pre-christian figures to appear on the catholic calendar of saints' days. the book is considered the first model of the medieval stories of the martyrs.

and moving right along. the summer after graduating from macalester i read the KORAN. it was repetitive and boring and i was provided no succor from the all clement. my reading of the koran provided me with good insight on the contrast between, on one hand, the intellectual analysis of text and, on the other hand, the indoctrination from growing up with religion, and the acting out of meaning and cultural observance of religion in everyday life through prayer, worship, fellowship, holidays (looks a little like holy days doesn’t it), etc.

would i recommend reading the bible. no. but, as the big fundamentals, i always believe that it’s good to know the basics.

i would recommend a few books of the bible. job is a good one, an exercise is theodicy, the reconciliation of the co-existence of evil and god. ecclesiastes is a good short read. it’s place in the bible always makes me laugh. everything is utterly senseless. i wish i was special. also, if you are named after a book of the bible, you should read that book. habakkuk should read habakkuk. jude should read jude, it’s the fourth shortest book in the bible. paul, you have your work cut out for you because you should read all the letters of paul. that goes for those of you named saul too. does anyone know why.

it's bush by a hair

people are crazy and i don't know why, so i asked god. god suggested that i talk with him more often. god also suggested that i study religion, especially christianity, and the constitution. i read the constitution the other night. its complete text is under C in the complete set of 1993 world book encyclopedia's that i picked up for twenty dollars at the hastings, nebraska, library book sale in the city auditorium in 2002. i joked with god about how the 18th amendment was the worst idea ever. i asked god why bush won the election and why the cornhuskers suck this year. i expected god to say that he was on bush's side and that's why bush won. but god must have seen the clever trap i had laid for him and quickly answered "because he got more votes and because they score less points." i said, damn god, i was ready to hammer you because i know you support the huskers but the huskers suck. why do the huskers suck if the huskers have a lot of christians on the team and the state is full of christians. we hate gays more than southerners and we are more zenophobic than southwesterners. how could you let a team like usc win, or any team from florida ever. blah blah blah

anyway,
here are results from my home county in nebraska:
adams county
bush 70%
kerry 29%

here are results from arthur county in nebraska:
bush 90%
kerry 9%
us house district three: osborne 97%

in other news

i am reading "ontogeny and phylogeny" by stephen jay gould. the book is a dry review of reproduction theories that have since been proven false. the main theory was recapitulation, which basically purports that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.

in case your are wondering... recapitulation is the theory that an individual organism's development of successive stages resembles the series of ancestral types from which it has descended. ontogeny is the development or course of development of an individual organism. phylogeny is the evolutionary history of a kind of organism.

the scientists believed in evolution but belief in god turned them into teleologists, and from there the crazy theories abound. it’s hard to read about something when you know it’s bullshit. it’s hard to take it seriously and try to learn something that appears to have no use. hmmm. i felt the same way when i was reading “a brief history of western philosophy.” those peeps were brilliant thinkers, but what would they think now.

it's wet, damn wet...

4. Macalester
13 Bo Rydze, Sr 27:14.6
15 Roscoe Sopiwnik, Jr 27:25.2
23 Dylan Keith, So 27:58.7
24 Eric Olson, Sr 28:02.1
43 Matt Wegmann, Fr 28:26.0
48 Nate Crider, Fr 28:30.5
49 David Augustson, So 28:32.6
Time = 2:19:06.5 Places = 118

if you look at the results, the times appear astonishingly slow. i think everyone knew the times would be slow due to the wet fall, which produced a soggy course. the temperature was a nice fifty degrees. it was a little breezy. there was also some nice drizzle. congrats on the effort mac, but i won't congratulate you on your fourth place between st. thomas (115) and hamline (121) because i know you expected third. i'm not in a comfy armchair, but here it goes: it is difficult to place third if you don't have any top ten runners, the gap between 1-2 and 3-4 was a little bigger than i expected, and the number 5 runner was average. regions should bring redemption, if you believe in that sort of thing.

dan bucy took the lead immediately, followed by malcolm richards, kelly fulton, several jackasses, and the rest of the pack. the top three opened a lead quickly and the race seemed to spread out early on. outside the top three, runners looked more haggard than usual. the course really took a toll on the runners’ appearances, or maybe the runners this year are just uglier than in past years. but the top three looked smooth, working easy. malcolm took the lead from bucy just before heading into the last small loop. kelly fulton came out from under the stone arch with the lead, turned around, threw a large hammer at malcolm, which malcolm dodged but bucy took directly on the nut sack, and continued to blaze to victory. stolaf won easily and carleton won second easily, proving eliot, who approached people before the race to tout his predictions with the giddiness of the masturbating bear, wrong.

in other observations, i thought i noticed some changes on the course this year. i didn't think there were usually water stations at the conference meet but somebody handed bethel runner david borner a water bottle shaped like a cock. he proceeded to fade from 4th to 32nd.

the mac women took home fifth.

carleton was hosting the meet and took home the dishonor of shittiest finish line management ever. i came across a transcript on the carleton web site from a pre-race meeting about managing the finish line. here it is:

the women's 6k race is usually really spread out and when women finish they continue to charge down the chute. that's true. that means we can make our one and only finish chute two meters wide and taper it down to twelve inches after taking two steps across the finish line. good idea. hey, i have another idea. let's have a single file line of finishers that backs up twenty meters onto the course. yes, that would be hilarious, runners pouring on the surge down the finishing stretch only to have us tell them not to pass anybody else, just wait here please, just a minute. [chortling] they won’t know when to stop their watches, should i stop it now or should i wait until the line moves across the finish. yes, hilarious.

elections
i haven't really been paying attention to swing states and the electoral vote, so i took a look today. if kerry wins ohio, michigan, and wisconsin, i will be running around st. thomas with my willie hanging out. let freedom reign. free willie. i also looked at the senate races. three states with republican party incumbency are tight. five races with democrat party incumbency are tight.

aaron, did you see this article in the asian times. have you heard about it in japan. tokyo traduces history with toxic textbooks. basically, japan was trying to liberate asia from the west, and what japan did in world war two was not only morally right, but magnanimous.

jude, i have a halloween party experience that you should be yearning to hear about. i don't know when i will post about it. i want to build the anticipation.