my minatory friend jude informed me that he benched 135 for three sets of ten. that got me thinking about how manly jude is, which in turn got me to thinking about how manly i am. holy shit i'm manly. and i have a lot of manly friends. but little did i know that wednesday night while i was sitting around being manly, another friend of mine was about his business emasculating himself. i was watching the red sox defeat the cardinals. and while i watched, i scratched myself with a frequency that may have given an observer the visage of an unhealthy creature. during the fourth inning i filled up the cup of chew spit that i held in my right hand while i scrutinized a porno in my left hand. of course, i stopped staring at bare breasts and shorn beavers to watch the truck commercials. hemi.
meanwhile across town...
as you may have read on tim's blog, which masticated wednesday night's events, tim went over to the apartment of socialite liz connors, ever the gracious host who tries her best to entertain. “hey tim, let's go to a smoky bowling alley, drink beer, and hurl a heavy object to smash other objects.” tim just sat on the couch emoting rapid fire nays.
"no, no, no."
“hey tim, how about the vu, king of diamonds, or rick's cabaret.
"no, no, no."
“tim, do you want to stay here.” tim nods. “we could watch a action movie with ripping explosions, hundreds of cars twisted into mangled metal, decimating body counts, and rough romance scenes with supple women.”
"no, no, no."
“well how about a kung fu movie. how about the game.” both mentions for a moment drew a nonplussed reaction from tim.
“i want to watch sex in the city. aaaeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrroiiiiiiiinonononooiayneeeeeeee.”
when the reverberating noise of tim's tantrum ceased to echo in the apartment, liz offered a conciliatory “tim, we can watch whatever makes you happy and warm inside.”
“sex in the city, sex in the city, yay, yay” tim cheered as he pranced about the room like a high school cheerleader, the froufrou from his skirt and pom-poms filling the air. “the episode about balls, the episode about balls.”
see you at the dubliner tonight tim.
4 comments:
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAR, that was an I am woman hear me roar, well no actually that was just a large belch from all of the beer Tim and I drank on Wednesday night. Atleast we were drinking manly beer while we watched Sex in the City. Yeah what can one say, Tim really likes that Sex in the City. And although we observed many converstaions about balls of all sorts, my poor, but powerfull "Purple Deuce" (my bowling ball)had to just sit there in the bag. "Hush, Hush there my Blue Deuce baby, maybe my next guest to 3410 will accompany us to the lanes where we can let you run free."
Hey Ben link to my blog at becoolmybabies.blogspot.com, keep in mind it is new and I have written more on yours and Tim's then my own. But I think it has potential. Just don't expect to learn anything from my site!!! Learning yuck!!!
Benjamin Louis Knudson:
I've seen you watching the old Sex in the City episode once or twice in your days. You may be afraid to show the excitement that the show stirs up as openly as I do, but I've seen you on the couch, chin down, eyes wide and flitting rapidly, like a blushing school girl full of embarassment yet joy. You're in the closet still, dude, come on out and enjoy the beauty!
At first I was crying gi-normous crocodile tears of laughter, you know, cause that was, hands-down, the funniest post I've read in two months, but then Tim made me weep so very hard I fried a library computer. Stupid commune.
Tim, the world of testosterone is weeping, but only symbolically as real men like me don't cry. Anyway, on wednesday night, after I was out killing my dinner, I did laundry. So I guess Tim wasn't the only person doing non-manly things that evening. However it must be noted that I only did the laundry because if you don't remove the blood from that day's kill, it will stain.
I'll see you at the Dubliner tonight tim. you better not be wearing pink corduroy and sandles, I don't care what you learn watching Bravo.
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